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Communication experts recognize 5 different types of communication. If you have difficulty communicating, or if people seem to have trouble communicating with you, it might be helpful to read the following descriptions and see if you can identify what type of communicator you are. Once you realize how you tend to communicate with others, you can pinpoint which techniques are not effective for you and how you might like to change them.
Placate:
The placater always speaks in an ingratiating way. He is always trying to please others, or apologizing, but never disagreeing, no matter how he feels. You would call this person a yes man or a brown-noser. This type of communicator always seems to need approval from others rather than from himself. He doesn't want anyone to get mad at him.
Blame:
The blamer is a faultfinder. She acts superior to everyone else and seems to think that no one can do anything as well as she can. Internally she has a feeling of tightness in the muscles and organs. Her blood pressure tends to get higher as she blames, and her voice is often high, shrill, and loud. She wants people to think she is strong.
Compute:
The computer is always very correct. And rarely shows any emotion. He appears to be very cool and calculated. He often seems disassociated. His voice might be a monotone. He attempts to deal with a threat as though it is harmless, and he uses big words to establish his self-worth.
Distract:
The distractor constantly says or does things that are irrelevant to what others are doing or saying. She never responds to the point being made. Internally, she might feel dizzy and panicky. She tries to ignore the threat by behaving as thought it was not really there. She thinks I she ignores it long enough, it might really go away.
Leveling:
In this type of communication, all parts of the message are going in the same direction. The face, the tone of voice, the words, and the body language all match. His relationships tend to be free and easy. He feels few threats to his self-esteem. Because of that, he has no need to communicate in any way that is not open and honest.
No one person communicates the same way every time. We generally choose our communication techniques based upon the situation we find ourselves in. But there are some people who predominately chooses one technique over the others. You probably know people that fit pretty neatly into each category. If you find yourself to be one such communicator, take a good look at the category that best describes you and ask yourself if that technique is really effective for you. If you answer honestly, you will probably say no. And if you do say no, then you really need to concentrate on choosing to be a leveler. You will be surprised to see how changing how you communicate can change your life.
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