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There is nothing comparable to being a stay-at-home mother. Nothing. It is by far the most rewarding and self-satisfying undertaking that many women have ever elected to do. It is also one of the most demanding, difficult, stressful and thankless "jobs" today. There is also nothing comparable to the sense of isolation and alientaion, which may accompany a stay-at-home mother.
Especially if she hasn't had a meaningful conversation with another adult in days. Electing to stay at home with ones children often isn't easy, but most mothers will agree that it is indeed worth it. But most women would also likely agree that they would relish the opportunity to periodically talk to other mothers who are sitting in the same (rocking) chair, so to speak. Precisely why it is a great idea to start-up a local "Mom's Group".
Belonging to a mother's group enables women to reach out and connect with like-minded mommies on a regular basis, and also allow their kids some fun playtime with other tots in the process.
Starting a mom's group doesn't cost a lot, nor does running it. The truth is, a mother's group can end up saving you money in the long run. How? First off, attending weekly meetings at another mom's house and sharing your insights and troubles is much cheaper than attending a weekly psychiatric session!
Seriously, most moms groups create their own barter babysitting service: In other words, you baby-sit mine, I'll baby-sit yours. No dollars are exchanged, instead it's "tit for tat," (coupled with those grateful looks that mom's give each other when they realize they are actually going to be able to go get their hair done--professionally! Or even be able to see the latest Tom Hanks movie…with dad!)
Here's how to get your own neighborhood Mom's Group ball rolling:
--Write a flyer specifically stating that you are interested in forming a mothers group in your area. List your name and e-mail address and/or telephone numbers and tack it onto the bulletin boards at your church, school, the library, the grocery store, the fitness center, etc. These are all likely places to find potential group members.
On the flyer request that those who are interested in forming such a group contact you directly and following that, set up a time for everyone to meet. If you are a bit nervous about the initial meeting taking place in your home, try the park (whether permitting) or ask if it would be okay if you met in the church basement or lunch area.
--At your initial meeting, allow time for everyone to get to know each other. Serve juice, animal crackers and coffee and rolls (if possible and if you can afford it) and tell everybody to enjoy. Or request that each mom brings a ingestible offering to share. Have everyone introduce themselves and their children-remembering to state their children's ages, as well.
Also at this meeting, decide how often you will meet, how long the meetings will usually last, and precisely where the meetings will take place. One option is for meetings to alternate between member's homes. If this is the course taken, a schedule should be printed--complete with names, addresses and phone numbers of all members--and distributed to members, since that will greatly reduce confusion.
If five to ten moms and their children show up for the initial meeting, consider yourself lucky. That is a good, manageable group number. Should there be less, take heart and keep advertising, more woman are becoming "mom's" everyday and people are likely moving in and out of your neighborhood every now and again, as well. Word will spread.
Should a much larger number of mom's attend the first meeting--you might want to consider splitting the group in half or thirds and then rotating the members so everybody has a chance to meet and connect with everybody else eventually.
--Depending upon the size of your group, it might be a good idea for each mom to chip in a certain amount of money per month to cover the cost of paper, printing and miscellaneous group outings (field trips) and expenditures, too. This amount should remain small and therefore easily manageable by all. You do not want to lose valuable members because they can't "afford" to belong. That isn't what a mom's group is all about.
--Work out a specific bartering-babysitting system that everybody agrees with. Do this at the first or second meeting, and again, get this in writing to avoid confusion.
All bartering babysitting transactions should be written down as they occur, and signed by both parties as well. Vouchers can be easily designed and computer-printed so all that's necessary is time, place, and the signatures.
When members desire a babysitter, they simply go down their mom's group membership list, calling members until they find someone who is available and/or willing to do the job. The babysitting duties will then be reciprocated at a later date.
--Although many mom's groups willingly and quite enjoyably spend the majority of their time commiserating with each other--offering advice, a chuckle, household hints, or even a shoulder to cry on-- once in a while the group might elect to go on an outing or field trip.
This is often especially exciting for the children and can provide an excellent educational outlet, as well. Perhaps the group will elect to spend several hours together at the local park, children's museum or zoo, or maybe instead view the latest kiddie movie. "Kids day" at the bowling alleys (they put the bumpers down the gutter lanes) can be really fun, too.
Whatever your group elects to do and how often they do it will be up to your members. You can vote or informally reach a decision-it is up to your individual group on how to proceed.
It is a good idea, however, to decide just how often (on average) that the group desires to take part in such field trips--keeping in mind the cost and the stress-factor of those who might have small babies, etc.
As time passes, you will likely discover some kindred mother spirits and have made some wonderful, helpful connections with many others within your Mom's Group, as well. And most importantly, you will notice how drastically your sense of isolation has been lessened.
You already know that your decision to be a stay-at-home-mom is worth it; the rewards you'll receive from starting your own local Mom's Group should prove worth it, too.
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